You are hereSuzanne Foxton
What about suffering? The bound-up ego, fashioned of fear, resists anything presumed to be a threat; that resistance is suffering. There may be pain, but there need not be suffering.
Seekers of something other than what IS are convinced there must be some extraordinary difference in the quality of experience other than that which is already known; the flavour of reality must change, and subsequently, the motives for all apparent actions. The very timbre of what is heard must be sweeter; what is felt must feel more whole; what is seen must seem to be more crystalline and defined, the very essence of reality contained in each apprehended atom of the appearance that shows up for us. Whatever is known now is disregarded as incomplete, is perceived as lacking in some way. All of us seek to imbue some greater consequence to experience than what is already experienced. Imagination intervenes to provide an expectation of a world imbued with more: more meaning, more light, more love, more sensation, more appreciation. Whatever simply is, is not enough. Whatever simply is, is judged to be lacking. Whatever the sights, sounds, feelings, sensations of the world that appears to show up for us is not enough; there must be more.
People seem to make a big deal of the story of the "awakening moment" - it's something solid the ego can hold on to and wait for, deflecting its death for "another time". Well, just remember that "what happened for me" is just another nothingness, made apparently "real", and exists only as memory NOW. It's always now o'clock. My fevered (and tolerated) brain tends to put a story to it along the lines of "I realised what I had been looking for all this time was my life, just exactly as it is." There seemed to be a "shift" but not much of one. The thing that seemed to die was the need for whatever was happening to be anything else than exactly what it was. And what it was, and is, is just life toddling along as it always has, unresisted. Very, very, very, very simple! The mind will complicate it; the mind can try explain the mystery of life in any of a billion billion ways. I don't think awareness gives a flying fart whether awakening happens or not. It's just more dust in the wind, a tale told by an idiot, signifying nothing, but a hell of a lot of fun, and to be relished.
It's frightening, losing your life. Everything you ever thought was important just melts away. The complex value systems, the vehicles for outrage, the impassioned striving for a better world, all that happens to no one. What dies is what believes it is not whole. What goes is the notion that any of the morals or outrage or striving is the "why" of being; what drops away is the need for any "why". It is the seeker that dies, although seeking can still arise, but perhaps not in the context of the search for some massive existential purpose.
There is still seeking, and longing, and circumstances that require apparent actions that seem opposed to this message, such as raising your children to be constructive citizens, with a drive to fulfill their potential. But who is all this happening to? When does it happen? To no one, and not in time. It is shining, singing being, speaking through the senses and thoughts and feelings, observing itself with duality, but it is only and ever being, playing the game of living. There need be no one taking it all so seriously, for what is being taken seriously is an illusion, the illusion of a separate self. What can happen, can happen unfettered by this funny idea of you.
Jim Carrey in The Truman Show - everything you've always believed in collapses; it's not necessarily a "bad" thing. Who can make such a judgement?
Who is it that can be hurt? Pain may arise, but there is no one who can be hurt. In separation, however, the hurt is personal, and sometimes unbearable. We seem to need all kinds of help. Help is always there. The apparent story is a kinder one than it seems it used to be. And my character is not at all averse to asking for help!
That paradox of the character in the story seeming to carry on, and yet there being no one and nothing, isn’t something the mind can resolve. Yet it is blindingly, screamingly obvious; duality is nonduality, twoness is oneness, apprehending itself. We have dreamed ourselves up. If it doesn't seem obvious, perhaps, if you want, you could inquire why that is. What does it matter if an apparent individual is “awake” or not? What is it, exactly, that you are looking for? And perhaps “exactly” is the operating word; some apparent individuals have a very specific idea of what enlightenment, or whatever we’re calling it today, is “like”. It’s like this. This is it.
No one is “enlightened”. No one can awaken. Indeed, that is what is seen. There is no one that can awaken. There is no one, and everything, absolutely everything in the appearance is love. There is no samsara. Some apparent individuals still have the idea that they are separate, most of them in fact, but there is nothing wrong with that. There is nothing that is not Oneness, the Source, Consciousness, aliveness, beingness, whatever the preferred term is.
"In Person" meeting with Suzanne Foxton
Suzanne's first session from Jan 3rd
Here's the afternoon session Jan 3rd
There is so much tugging and pulling at the heartstings of the seeker; so many admonitions, so much advice, so many entreaties, so many commands. So many edicts to "dump the spiritual bullshit" or "get off the hamster wheel" or "stop circling the mountain and look up to see the mountain".
I am not a teacher; I won't be telling any apparent person what to do, where to go, or how still to be to "get" this "enlightenment" stuff. A few words of advice might slip out now and again, but as the story seems to unfold to me, there are paths that work, paths that work for some "individuals" but not others, some who conclude the only path is no path, some who resonate with "there is no one" and some who resonate with "be still and see there is no witness". The "ah ha" moment might be a startling mind-event with bells, whistles, visions and bliss, or it might be a gentle shift that leaves the former seeker in gales of subdued chuckles, or it might "happen" and only be noticed "later" with an accompanying classic comedy slap on the forehead.
The most uncomfortable, tragic event can unfold into wisdom. The most futile, unprofitable enterprise is a journey of revelation. Some games may be more enjoyed than others, but each game is the expression of perfection, the reflection of that which longs to see itself, which is that longing and nothing more.
The frustrated longing of the seeker is the sweetest, most apropos feeling, the clearest reflection of life's yearning to be. How strange and paradoxical that we cannot see what we are, when what we are is all we are. We are not steeped in enlightenment; there is no enlightenment; there is only this, full stop, here now. Whichever teacher you are drawn to, listen. Whatever method you apply, delight in it. Whatever it seems you are doing, you are awareness, and everything you see, think, hear, touch, smell, feel and do, is arising in what you are, no matter what that is, no matter how to the point or not.
You cannot run away from what you are. And if, by some accident, the illusion of reality is seen through, all those ups and downs and tragedies and joys can be savoured without the defenses of the ego in the way; but if all you seem to be is a bundle of defenses, savour them as well, for they are no less a perfect expression of being than anything else.
Suzanne Foxton WebCast