A video journal about my particular journey through life.
Let it be insightful for you, if it feels right.

RichardMiller's picture

Boundaries are thought of as a limit to comfortable contact

I will attempt to speak of boundaries without much esoteric or hidden reasoning. If that is objected to, then I will take on the esoteric considerations later.  First I will speak to the following:

a.  Radical boundary issues come from perceived exploitation.
b.  But even family and friends generally “want something from us”.
c.  Would it be possible to be clear and put these wants out on the table?
d.  Maybe I have made the trade off of intimacy for security.
e.  What are the keys to keep the door of close contact open?

I think that you can have a boundary with people and with a circumstance too. If there is just too much noise and commotion, people get uncomfortable. Some people are sensitive to noises and lights and agitatedly seek a calmer atmosphere.

I have read where autistic people hurt themselves until the physical pain is louder than the buzzing or droning in their head. They just can’t take that sensation anymore. I also just talked with a very normal, even successful man who reported that when a child, he found himself cutting is arm and stabbing himself for a relief from internal and external noises.

1. But let’s just consider the boundaries between people. Something is uncomfortable about the other. The most uncomfortable is the idea that I might be subject to exploitation. That person wants something from me. Maybe they are an authority figure and can put me into a difficult situation. Maybe they are much more persuasive than me, and I am unable to hold my ground against them. Something about our two persona's is very unequal. I feel overpowered.

Richard Miller's picture


It could also pay to compare them for their differences.  Buddhism has precepts to rigorously follow and a morality and honesty.  The non-dual is more based on an experience of peace and open space, even before any notion of a me as an individual.  
Without a distinct individual identification, precepts and a morality might seem like they are just made up concepts.  They are distinctions created in man's mind.  Who even knows how they were created because most of them are our inheritance and they were here before we remember.  We simply adhered to them, knowingly or not.  As they relate to the peace and open space, they are merely excess baggage and clutter.  Many in the non-dual world kindly regard these Buddhist tenants as a sort of a kindergarten, or starting place that somehow gets you into a condition where you can find that spaciousness for yourself. 
Let's consider a text which we all know, and see what we can make of it:
"When I see that I am nothing, that is wisdom."
"When I see that I am everything, that is love."
"In between these two, the whole of my life flows."
At first sight we seem to have two things going on here.  This could be explained away and called paradox and such.
Here's a taste of a breakthrough discussion
Yoke of Many Distorted Principles

1:28 min
Propelled to Discuss Life, What For?

4:27 min

We're so in love with what thought constructs


Analytical human mind peers at life through lenses decorated by thoughts and so called lenses not decorated with thoughts. Is there really any difference? Is the latter have the same decorations as the former, all-be-it of a subtler variety.

What would happen to our life if we didn't believe in any difference? Some part of it would be simpler, and our focus might become more complete and whole.

98 minutes of discovery on these topics. With Giri Samudra and Jerome Pindell.

How Joy becomes the product of an Adversity, Carlos Boisselle

What a "truth teller" I find in Carlos.  Both he and his honored relationship Bill live in a simple rhythm of being true to their immediate surroundings, and those closest to them.  Nothing else is required.  Yet a broad based past on the LA streets prepares him to meet with empathy absolutely all comers.  If he doesn't turn through those circles at this time, one can see that he can and will.  Love to him.


Reading Sally Anderson FreeFall

 We make discoveries by relaxing the meaning, reasons and justifications we give in our lives.  The urge to give meaning is actually how we make ourselves stuck in our in our apparent identity.  Strange how we are more prone to give meaning to what is threatening than to what is pleasing.  So our stuckness takes on a negative spin.


This relaxing of the temptation to give meaning allows new insights to come in.  What I am discovering also becomes more apparent to me as I am able to give distinctions or words to what I see.  And this condition also brings to my attention the works of others that have articulated what I am seeing, but in a better way than I can yet communicate.


I have been digesting Sally Anderson's book FREEFALL since late June and her words are exactly what I am ready to hear.  See if they make sense to you as I read a few pages from this most powerful of books.

Meet Giri Samudra and Susan Gordon

Richard J MillerRichard J Miller

 I have often said that 3-way dialogues with "every day people" are more rewarding for me that so called teacher interviews.  Again this proves true as I believe we have reached a new softness in accepting and receiving each other.  I stood in my heart throughout this conversation, not because of anything that I was doing, but because of who the three of us are in kindness, openness and acceptance.

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Laura Simms, Freeing Stories, Antidote to Binding Stories
Sudden Story, a thread to build a life on
Perfect Example, Power of Words
I love this Activist and her Engagement
Let's emulate the life of Passion

Meet Jerome Pindell with AbiTiki


 In this video discussion AbiTiki and Jerome are sharing about finding a trust and a natural feeling of safety in life.  Do we normally feel "safe", even while coming on the internet?   So how will we ever construe the events in our life as safe?  Witness this dialogue.

RealShip, Receiving the Other Just As they Appear
Paul and Angelika from the ET Forum
I'm always beating the drum of expression
Language really doesn't solve so much, but it is believing in thoughts that seems to bind us. Let's uncover them through expression.
Tom and Grace from the ET Forum
I'm most fulfilled by risking to share
It is not always so comfortable to even make a simple statement after a schooling of right and wrong and being ridiculed. Let's do it differently.

Part of the Action

We remain committed to be on the forefront of what will support life, both in your family and on planet earth. 


My interaction with you is an Experiment to further enable this vision to be true, and up to the rhythm that you are a part of the action.  


Please contribute to make this vision real.  

With Heart Felt Thanks, Richard Miller.



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