Looking and Seeing / Listening and Hearing

“Until it is seen,” the reality underlying all illusion; that I am formless awareness temporarily manifesting as human being.

“Until it is seen,” an inferential emphasis on the visual field and the primacy of sight and its cognitive cousin – insight.

For some it really is about visualizing and visualization. The ability to “see” what is here.

“I see the light at the end of the tunnel. I see what you mean.”

Except I find I don’t see, not really. I say I do but I don’t. I mean I do look but see what I see. And much of what I say I see is really what I think I see. I look but don’t always see because I remain susceptible to mind’s distracting inner commentary.

What actually happens daily is that I “hear” the commentary in my head, I don’t see it. What I do see are the consequences of heeding that commentary. I see my actions and reactions, commissions and omissions; the resulting handiwork of that interpretive commentary.

So really, by and large, I’m constantly “listening” to an inner commentary explaining the world, my current circumstances, my state of health, my spiritual progress and my “whatever” to me.

And here I am surprised once again by how I re-discover the familiar and apparent ordinary.

In exploring the simultaneity of existence, of everything is everything and all is interconnected, I have found myself falling into spontaneous deep listening which has led to a different kind of hearing.

No listener per se, just listening. And what is heard distinctly is “commentary” against a backdrop of This - unfolding life living itself. At first I thought I was hearing Truth, and then thought I was hearing falsity, the illusion-making commentary. But what I was hearing was the ground of stillness of mind and silence (the “unsaid”). I didn’t know I could do this. That in a sense hearing stillness and silence was doable. That I was hearing simply This.

I hear heartbeat, breath moving in and out of nostrils and lungs, stomach gurgling, life and blood moving in this body. I listen for and hear the truth of what is in lieu of, or in conjunction with, looking for and seeing the truth of what is. Deep listening appears to stimulate an ability to hear not just what is here but also what is not here. I find it strange to say I hear the absence of commentary, that I hear the gaps of stillness and silence between thoughts. That in some way I hear presence. Is there perhaps a whiff of hyperbole here? It may sound that way because that’s a risk I run when I try to explain the ephemeral.

This deep listening leads to deeper listening which leads to intermittent, and initially disconcerting, episodes of inner muteness, a certain indifference to speech which isn’t always appreciated or understood by those I have relationships with.

I suspect, depending on proclivity, sensitivity, preference, and possibly genetic make-up, anyone can drop into any of the senses and not just see the truth of consciousness, awareness, being but hear it, smell it, taste it or feel it. In a sense, I am not locked into only one modality of discerning what is, of being what is.

But there is also the paradox of so . . . many . . . words . . . in here . . . and out there, distinctly heard yet making such a racket, a thunderous roar of white noise (not to be confused with tinnitus!) and meaning takes a hike. I’m sure this is temporary but until it settles down I’m left with this apparent quandary of how to integrate this into my daily life. After all, a self-deprecating smile and a shrug of the shoulders can only get me so far before someone says exasperatedly, “What the hell is that noise coming out of your mouth!”

Anyone care to comment on any similar experiences with any of the sense modalities?

(And I am not talking about synesthesia - a neurologically-based condition in which stimulation of one sensory or cognitive pathway leads to experiences in a second sensory or cognitive pathway, i.e., hearing colors. Which frankly is quite intriguing in its own right.)