Something resonates in what Paul Lowe says.
As a person evolves in consciousness, eventually they come to the state where they say, I don’t know what is happening anymore. This is known as a - good - sign. You see, we never really know what is happening. We only think that we do. And the only way that the mind can feel comfortable with itself, is to feel that it knows what is happening. And the only way that it can think it knows what’s happening, is by comparison. If you keep evolving, if you keep becoming more conscious, eventually you find that there is nothing to which you can compare. Because all has become so old that it is irrelevant. All the old ways have become so old, that you can’t relate to them anymore.
So we get the term ‘the dark night of the soul’, but the main thing is, that it is a sort of lostness. You have lost your connections or your meanings to the old, and you haven’t found the new one. Now the good, and the bad news is that you never will find one, there isn’t one. Now, doesn’t have one.
In the other, let’s say unpleasant side, you can no longer relate to people who are still on the comparison level, the old way. Because something has changed so that you see so clearly that what we used to call reality, is no longer real to you.
Old friends and acquaintances or people that you meet, are still at that level. When you were in the old paradigm you will find that you were never without a problem, (accept maybe if you get high). There is always something. And if you follow that something, if you track it back, you’ll find that it tracks back to fear. Fear is always there. Sometimes more in the foreground when it is obvious, if it is not obvious in the background. But it is still driving your life. Fear of - you can go endlessly into what the fear is of in each moment. Getting out of that paradigm, fear gets so far away that you’re not connected to it anymore.
That sounds good, doesn’t it. But when it happens, you don’t have a reference point. You realize that previously you always had a reference point. Even if it was unpleasant, you knew where you were. But in this new state you see that the exact problem is unsolvable, or if it is, it isn’t really resolved, because there will be another one, and another one. On that level, it can’t be solved. When that is gone, all your references dissapear, because there is nothing with which you can really compare.
Now you realize that you are in a state to which you have no reference, (actually you have always been in that state.) Do you feel good, or bad? You don’t know, because in this state the dichotomies have merged. They may not be totally one, but they are so close together now, you can’t tell what’s going on. They’re so close, that they are now both. Eventually they will be neither. Because these dichotomies are just the way that the mind tries to handle the world to keep you safe.
Many things might appear opposite, but on this new level, it just is. Everything just is. So that’s why it is called the dark night of the soul. You can’t see anything. You can’t see what is, and what isn’t.
At that time you usually reach a situation that will support you. It is not a coincidence. Your frequency is now drawing something to you to support you. Perhaps supportive situations are always here, but we can’t see them unless we make ourselves available. Let’s just imagine that that which we call existence, is there for us. Every single thing that happens to you in your life is for you. It’s helping you to see yourself more clearly. It is helping you to see where you are not seeing yourself clearly.
You can even say, what is there in this moment, is for me. You make yourself available, if you tune in. How? Every time you feel a complaint, stop. Don’t support your complaint. Just let it lie there. Make a space by finding what you can be grateful for. You make a space, because gratefulness expands. When you complain you contract, you close off. And you’re not so in touch with what is there for you.
Back to the dark night of the soul. It’s wonderful. It’s you having a paradigm shift. It’s a shift from always looking at everything in duality to this new way of not knowing. If you embrace that, then you say “I’m not going to go looking for how to go back.” I’m going to be with this new way, with this not knowing. As soon as you make that decision, more support will be available to you. Disconnect from the old way, and allow yourself to be in a space where you don’t know.
The fact is, we don’t know. Nobody does.
When you look for this space, you’re going to look from the old way, and you won’t see it. You’ll never know what it is. Because knowing has to have its opposite, unknowing. And this doesn’t have an opposite. It just is. You’re not in that space. You are that space. Each one of us is the whole. But we will never understand that. We can be in it, because we are it. But not in our old way of understanding.
When this uncertainty happens, don’t try and be certain. Be uncertain. Not knowing is the most intimate. The mind won’t let you alone for a long time, because it will keep saying, it is this, it is that. It can take care of you in practical ways, but in this new way, you need to not know.
Just sitting there calmly. Nothing to fear. Nothing at all on the outside has changed. But you’re not finding the good and the bad, which are the result of knowing. There is nothing to compare. You really don’t know, and you allow that. Even though thoughts keep going back to how it must be, and what this means. Just stay with not knowing. Do it when you feel ready to do so.